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22/02/2006
ketchup_effect.wmv - An old joke re-hashed into a movie - Some CARE required
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,18234587-13762,00.html - It's the guy on the left in the photo!!!
http://cbs2.com/local/local_story_052110615.html - Nice work...
http://franksemails.com/pics/davis_monthan_airforce_base.html - Wow, I want one of those jets - don't think they'd notice if i pinched one :)
abmaker.jpg - Instant abs! Actually, it's stupid, don't open it.
marriedmensmagazine.jpg - Sounds like someone i know... Oldie, but a goodie.
fluorescent_tube_smash.wmv - I hope he has scars for the rest of his life (however short that may be) the freakin idiot.
http://www.optical-illusion.org/ - Gazillions of illusions...
http://uk.gizmodo.com/2005/11/16/killer_mouse.html - Bah! it's not optical!
http://www.shoutwire.com/viewstory/5058/Pencil_In_Penis - oh man that hurts...

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21/02/2006
headjob.jpg - So do I!!!
http://www.youtube.com/?v=06l6oec2LsU - Awesome dancing clip 3 - this is definitely the best of the 3
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7325141077711090283&q=kollaboration - Awesome dancing clip 2
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4920055532697906451&q=breakdancing - Awesome dancing clip 1
awesometattoo.jpg - Classy. Some CARE required...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1858640896825067657&pr=goog-sl - looks like fun...
http://www.b3ta.com/links/59 - BAAAHAHAHAHAHA DNA matching :) no worries :)
http://www.isketch.net/ - Not a bad game - especially when you can be a childish little prick and draw this as a "trumpet" :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/florida.html - Florida football - little bit of CARE required.
http://darb.net/photos/anonymous/baz.wmv - Queenslanders would like this (FYI: cane-toad golf is a popular sport in QLD)

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20/02/2006
http://franksemails.com/pics/valentine.html - Valentines - bit late to be receiving this, but anyway...
earlygaysigns.jpg - "FW: Early gay warning signs" - CAREFUL when opening this one at work.
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4613207988 - Poor bugger...
http://www.tattooedbanana.blogspot.com/ - How to molest a banana...
http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/play_uk.php?id=763569 - Subtitle your own movie - here's one done by my mate Waz
http://www.eugenemirman.com/ - WTF?! Who thinks this crap up, seriously...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1566751416966025770 - :)
http://www.sketchswap.com/ - Interesting - except the pics go through an approval process, so it's not as fun as i would like it to be :)

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17/02/2006
http://franksemails.com/pics/ice-sculptures.html - Ice Sculptures - pretty cool (no pun intended :)
hide-background.pps - minimal CARE required...
http://www.fluideffect.com/ - Very interesting stuff... Click on Portfolio, then Before & After. Select the photos then the Before button (hold it down). Nicole Richie (with Paris) is cut down to 2/3 her girth...
http://franksemails.com/pics/oh-shit.html - Again - oldie, but a goodie.
http://franksemails.com/pics/advert-awards.html - Advert awards - oldie, but a goodie
unglaublichebilder.pps - More interesting pics - that worth1000.com site always seems to come up with some interesting Photoshops
pic20135.jpg - Oldie, but i haven't seen it in a newspaper clipping before
phonecall.pps - silly, but gets funnier as you go...
osram.pps - NOICE!
jesusdancingweird.wmv - another oldie, but a... uh... bit silly...
irishcarrecovery.pps - oldie, but a goodie
fun.pps - Gazillions of interesting pics - some old, some new...
dumpster-grill.jpg - Hope they sterilised it before they used it - imagine steamy bin-juice marinating through your lamb spit - mmmmm yummo...
die_waffen_der_frauen.wmv - :)
biggerjugs.wmv - stupid, but funny :)
http://dogfeathers.com/java/necker.html - Interesting stuff - also check out the "Hyperspace Star Polytope Slicer" and the "Counter-Rotating Spirals Illusion".
http://www.milky.org.uk/xargle/mmyg/ - Bit silly...

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16/02/2006
tombstone.jpg - Oldie, but a goodie...
http://www.matazone.co.uk/animpages/gm/giraffe-milking.php - The author of this game must have been stoned at the time of writing it...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2627619247756759297&q=Arson+Sam - Pisser :)
http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com/ - How to trade a paper clip for a house
toilet.pps - We need the "please try and miss the floor" urinal 'cause the company next door to us (who uses the same facilities as us) employs someone who keeps pissing on the damn floor! ugh...
tshirt.pps - "I put the 'sexy' in dyslexia" - BAAAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHAUHUAHUA!!!. Click here and buy something from them using that link - maybe i can get some cash to pay for this server :) (and as a heads up, i'm going to be putting text ads on here soon - nothing invasive, it wont spoil the awesome look and feel of this site - i'm going to need to do this soon 'cause renting a server and bandwidth costs a lot of money).

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15/02/2006
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2006/02/15/1139890785543.html - I never knew there was a Michigan in NZ!?
http://www.duelwiththedevil.com/ - Just like that Simon game
http://www.zippyvideos.com/5132564783536946/vibro_cadeau_x/ - Such comedy... bit of CARE required
http://franksemails.com/pics/spanish-chick2.html - More pics of that Spanish TV host (also see this - posted on the 10/1/06). Some CARE required with this.
paysageschinois.pps - Some interesting pics...

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14/02/2006
2secondsawayfromselfdestruction.jpg - Dogs now desex themselves...
http://franksemails.com/psp - franksemails.com - Now available on PSP!
valentines.jpg - What every girl wants for Valentines day
noncartoon.jpg - Stupid. And if you find it funny, you're an asshole.
fcuk.gif - I agree

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13/02/2006
http://franksemails.com/pics/dicks-of-the-world.html - Saw that coming a mile off... (CARE required when opening at work)
berlitz_junior_40.wmv - Not bad :)
http://www.youtube.com/p.swf?video_id=kKGxaol4qws&eurl=&iurl=static13.youtube.com/get_still.php?video_id=kKGxaol4qws - Oh dear...
atttchaaaa.wmv - :)
maureen.wmv - Yeah, that works - but this is more effective i reckon.
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=spot_the_pedo - How to spot a pedophile - check for his "pedosmile". I got 68.4%.
http://www.youtube.com/player.swf?video_id=4aF8Gq4-iiw&l=269 - Great stuff
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5665594824&ru=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch.ebay.co.uk%3A80%2Fsearch%2Fsearch.dll%3Ffrom%3DR40%26satitle%3D5665594824%26fvi%3D1 - If you're starting a new job, this would be perfect to give your desk the "I've been working here for 20 freakin' years" look.
http://www.mingers.com/ - Some nice lookers here...

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10/02/2006
http://www.seek.com.au/showjob.asp?jobid=6305247 - Damn, they don't accept males...
seethemotorcycle.htm - Why speeding is awesome!!!
http://a.oneofthelads.com/carwash.php - Yet another one of those "tell me what to do" type things... great stuff, try "kiss" :)
yoghurt.wmv - oldie, but a goodie...
shake_bake.wmv - OH NOICE!!! (CARE required at work)

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9/02/2006
http://www.youtube.com/w/Everyday-I-Love-You-Less-And-Less-%28drunk-edition%29?v=2jNeVz6BJ4U&search=kaiser%20chiefs - Looks similar to this old classic which i posted on the 14th/11/05, but still pretty funny :)
http://www.snopes.com/photos/advertisements/pcpen.asp - Well, I guess it's true if snopes says so...
personaltrim.wmv - "FW: I suppose it beats waxing." - Idiot. CAREFUL when opening at work.
http://www.virtualdevices.net/ - Whoa!!! you can buy these things?! hmmm, dunno if this is real or not, so don't take my word for it!
http://franksemails.com/pics/pet-fancy-dress.html - Cruelty to animals - couple of new ones I haven't seen.
http://franksemails.com/pics/brokeback-mountain.html - Brokeback Mountain - haven't seen the film so I wouldn't have a clue what this is about, but this seems to be doing the rounds on the email at the moment, so here it is...
http://franksemails.com/pics/newtoy.html - New toy - now this is an awesome idea!
http://franksemails.com/pics/baby-tshirts.html - Baby t-shirts
graphicdesigner_1.pps - :)
tookthewifeshopping.jpg - The way it should be
http://www.geocities.com/tagonist/god.html - Haven't bothered to verify this "proof", but i'll go along with it...
http://www2.harrow.gov.uk/mgMemberIndex.asp - I ain't linking this site 'cause they'll see where hits come from and I don't want to upset them when I say this: God they look like a bunch of dorks! Have a look at Eileen Kinnear! Nice glasses! :)

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8/02/2006
http://www.emotioneric.com/ - Great stuff :)
gold.mpg -
silver.mpg -
bronze.mpg -
javelin.mpg - With the Commonwealth games coming to Melbourne very soon, it's probably a good time to put these old classics up.
awesome.jpg - BAAAAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA stupid.
http://franksemails.com/pics/exams.html - Exam answers - oldie, but a goodie... I used to hate exams, I still get nightmares about 'em :(
sebastian_kehl_popout.wmv - Hmmm... I think the other dude looked a bit too excited...

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7/02/2006
happy-marriage.jpg - Bit silly...
discomotorbikeman.wmv - :)

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6/02/2006
choc.mpg - Oldie, but a goodie :)
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/A-weekend-with-4-lads-in-London_W0QQitemZ6033883975QQcategoryZ317QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem - Now that the "Weekend with 4 Blokes in Sydney" auction is finished (and sold for $AUD1300), we now have "A Weekend with 4 lads in London"! I suppose this is the start of a new franchise?
armageddon.wav - Funny stuff :) Check out the history of this story here: http://www.snopes.com/risque/homosex/gerbil.asp. It also has the clip as a RealAudio file at the bottom of the page.
theshed.wmv - All they need are the strippers :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/one-lucky-cop.html - One lucky cop alright!
http://franksemails.com/pics/more-drunk-pics.html - More drunk pics...
parkingtechnique.wmv - Interesting manoeuvre
tits1.jpg - Bit of CARE required when opening this one

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3/02/2006
virgins.jpg - BAAAHUAHUAHUAHAUHAUA :)
saab.wmv - Cool driving...
http://franksemails.com/offside.html - The offside rule explained to women
dutch.mpg - Nothing in the inbox today, so i thought i'd recycle an old classic - one of my favourites.

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2/02/2006
kurioses.pps - Yet another compilation of various interesting pics... One of the slides at least requires a bit of care when opening
http://franksemails.com/pics/serena-aus-open.html - "FW: Serena Williams on the way home from the Australian Open"
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=t489SPcHMbQ - Another bunch of clowns doing "Jackass" style videos. Check out their site - www.smpfilms.com
speed-camera-revenge.jpg - Too good :) Good opportunity for a plug: speedcameraskill.com
http://franksemails.com/pics/living_in_a_bus.html - Nice bus...
fergiepeepee.jpg - Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas...
deerhunter.wmv - Not bad :)
capetownwaters2.jpg - He should get out and swim to make it more exciting
alwaysletherspeakfirst.wmv - :)
fast-truck.wmv - Whooooaaaa!!!
airplane-jump.wmv - Whoa!
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/fishfly.asp - Wow, snopes does videos too? Wouldn't have doubted that yesterday's fish flying video was true anyway
synchronised_swimming.wmv - I bet they made for tasty eating afterwards :)

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1/02/2006
fensterputzer.wmv - One for the ladies...
maze.swf - Another one of those "move your mouse through the maze" games... music is a bit wierd...
incrediblefishingvideo.wmv - Only idiots use fishing rods :)
therearethings.pps - This one also requires CARE when opening at work - don't usually post pr0n stuff on here but this one's funny as :)
beeren.wmv - This one requires a bit of CARE when opening at work. Crazy fuckers - they're obviously attempting to out-do Jackass and it looks like they're doing a pretty good job of it. Gross.

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31/01/2006
http://stoppong.com.au/ - They were advertising this a lot during the Australian Open... finally gave it a shot, not bad :)
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/A-Weekend-with-4-Blokes-in-Sydney_W0QQitemZ5659935599QQcategoryZ324QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem - Another bunch of clowns auctioning a weekend with themselves... Looks like they're doing alright though...
bb-comer.wmv - nice :)
optiker.mpg - If it were me I would have made the most of it and turned it into a 3some... but that's just me...
bird-flu-terror.jpg - :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/skiing-in-dubai.html - Skiing in Dubai - I thought only the Japanese did this sorta thing!
mmm-radio-joke.wma - Good 'ol JB reciting a classic joke (on The Cage breakfast show on MMM - an Aussie radio network). I remember this a while back when he read it out - i woke up 'cause i was pissing myself laughing in my sleep :)

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30/01/2006
http://www.theregister.com/2006/01/25/flying_car_launch_site/ - A Flying car!?! Also check out: http://www.theregister.com/2006/01/24/flying_car_letters/ and download that .kmz link just below the pic - it's a grid location for Google Earth (which you need installed for it to work)
nurseryrhymes.pps - Old, but I do like the last one...
http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=404&SectionID=1 - Useful ways to get yourself fired
bush_at_his_best.wmv - Comments from the ruler of the world
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8886199035190443829&q=polar+bear - The inventors of bukkake are at it again...
----------Finally pulled my finger out and got the stats set up the way i want - you can check out franksemails.com web statistics by clicking the 'stats' link under my pic. This gives you all sorts on information - broken down month by month - there's a "top 100" list of things that people view and you can even view the search strings people type in to get to this site (danica mckellar is the most popular search string that hits this site at the moment) among other things.

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27/01/2006
http://franksemails.com/pics/misc-comics.html - Some misc funnies...
yet-another-telemarketing-call-27-1-06.mp3 - Apart from doing nothing at home all day, I received another telemarketing call from Bangladesh - at least this guy was honest and admitted that he was from overseas unlike most of them - they usually claim they're local.
meet-the-f--kers.jpg - :)
speed-hump.jpg - Since when do New Zealanders say "You beauty"?
----------Well, after doing nothing all day except for watching Oprah and eating 2 day old pizza, i thought maybe i should do something productive... like update franksemails.com :)

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25/01/2006
----------Well, tomorrow's a national public holiday (Australia day), so I wont be at work - and I've taken Friday off to give me a long weekend, so I might not put anything up until next week, we'll see.
http://franksemails.com/pics/nice-gt40.html - Ahh well, it's only a Ford...
coppredictswreck2.wmv - Good advice...
wife1004.jpg - Damn right! :)
virgingame-answers.jpg - Here's all the answers to that band names pic that i sent out on th 29th/11/2005
notebook.pps - bit of CARE required at work with this one
australiaday.pps - Given that it's Australia day tommorow, this needs to get recycled (again :)

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24/01/2006
eichhof-brau-advert.mpg - Is this the Hoff's beer of choice?
http://franksemails.com/pics/john-howard.html - Shaking hands with our beloved Prime Minister - Too good :)
http://www.cricket.com.au/boonanza/game.htm - The best beer in the world now has the best game in the world!
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200601/s1553872.htm - I wish my vomit was worth that much...
womens-golf.jpg - Why women's golf has taken off...
aircon.jpg - An alternative to expensive factory car air-conditioning
http://franksemails.com/pics/t-shirts.html - Some t-shirts that the ladies would love...

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23/01/2006
arnoldsmokespot.gif - WTF?!
warne01.jpg - "FW: Why warney will always be better than macgill"

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20/01/2006
http://franksemails.com/pics/childrens-books.html - Books for the kiddies... Some i haven't seen before in here
boonie-very-poor-head.jpg - She should have been shot on the spot for insulting the great man with a head like that...

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19/01/2006
hiccupremedy.jpg - Shamelessly stolen from b3ta.com. Pisser :)
http://mosnews.com/news/2006/01/16/brother.shtml - Well, at least he finally got his brother off his back! BAAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA God I crack me up :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/flash-photography.html - Flash Photography - oldie, but a goodie.
http://franksemails.com/pics/new-speedos.html - Next generation speedos - I can see myself in one of these
http://www.hwt.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,17868388%255E23209,00.html - "I'm not crazy when I say this, they are the crazy ones who give you hot sausages before the match when it's 40 degrees celsius outside." - now that's a fair point!

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18/01/2006
http://wantitnow.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?WantItNowView&adid=6834265335 - Baaaahuahuahuahuahuahua!!! This guy’s asking for a laptop that would sell for around $AUD600, but only offering $200 tops… have a look at the first response :) This is great too: http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1469&item=5646839921
http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2004/01/irresistible-dating-prospects-from.html - Very funny stuff :)
http://www.happy-christmas.co.uk/explorer%2DGroup/ - "FW: How far can you kick Santa?" - not bad - pretty much the same as that penguin game
car_bluff.wmv - :)
rodas.pps - might be some new ones in here
how-to-stop-a-lesbian-smoking.jpg - Bit silly
simpsons-quiz.xls - Another one of those excel quiz things...
unusual-way-to-paint-buildings.pps - Pretty cool stuff

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17/01/2006
http://www.tourettesguy.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=12&Itemid=27 - Looks like a nice bloke to live with...
bbq.jpg - "Never tell a woman 'cooking is her job'"

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16/01/2006
http://www.menshealth.com/eyechart/index.html - Check out this link on eye disease and please forward on to anyone you know - the link has a simple graph which will help you become proficient at describing how each eye disease affects vision.
photobooth2.wmv - Bit silly
ragingfred.wmv - Good 'ol Flintstones - funny stuff :)
fridgememo.jpg - Classy

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13/01/2006
perfectcarforwomen.wmv - Nice car...
http://www.smh.com.au/news/people/hoff-to-divorce/2006/01/13/1137118952971.html - Ladies, he's now available...
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/01/11/1136956230663.html?from=top5 - Cyclops kitten
priorities.wmv - :)
short-girls.jpg - Picture of some very short girls
harrasment.wmv - :)
hookedonafeeling.wmv - Sent this out a while ago, but forgot to update the site - here it is though - The Hoff at his best.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4605202.stm - Mmmmm! They look tasty!

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12/01/2006
the_perfect_kiss.mpeg - And another oldie, but a goodie
morons_at_heathrow.doc - This one seems to be doing the rounds again - oldie, but a goodie :)
http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/man-breaks-leg-while-kicking-spider/2006/01/12/1136956282236.html - "Man breaks leg while kicking spider"
http://franksemails.com/pics/tactful-adverts.html - Tactful ads by Aussie Home Loans
http://franksemails.com/pics/overworked.html - Overworked
im_my_own_grandpa.wmv - Classic :)
urinals.pps - Some interesting designs
broomstick.jpg - Oldie, but a goodie

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11/01/2006
dont_cha.jpg - :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/3mglass.html - 3m Glass
http://wannaspell.com - Pretty cool stuff - tried to do franksemails.com - click here to see :)

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10/01/2006
http://www.theage.com.au/news/World/Women-warned-for-kissing-at-the-cricket/2006/01/10/1136851191982.html - Only sheep kissing is acceptable at the cricket in NZ
http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,17775380%255E662,00.html - Perhaps they should have tried the spin cycle...
http://hatinstruction.ytmnd.com/ - Hat instructions
reminder2_2.pps - A new reminder - this time you're not a fag.
ecstasy.mpg - Think I've seen this before... Make sure you watch the people in the background giving him shit :) Funny stuff :)
badflight.wmv - :)
alcoquiz.xls - Find out how much of an alcoholic you really are
http://franksemails.com/pics/spanish-tv-host.html - I'm moving to Spain to watch some TV

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9/01/2006
hoffcalendar2006_1.pdf - One for the toilet door
homomilk.jpg - With extra cream...
o_dweeds.wmv - :)
lovethatchair.wmv - Some interesting positions
discoverycahnnel_sharkbite.wmv - Wow! This makes me go wanna stand in water full of sharks!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4593682.stm - "Blazing mouse sets fire to house"
http://www.misternicehands.com/ - Great stuff :)
http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/ - Already sent this not too long ago, but here it is again in case you missed it the first time :)
shaggy2.wav - :)
shaggy.wav - This one I haven't heard before though - that woman must be retarded.
shaggy.wmv - Oldie, but a goodie
race.pps - got my hopes up :(
mindreader.pps - An old classic :)
howlongcanyouholdyourbreath.wmv - Oldie, but a goodie
dublinbuslivewebcam.htm - I knew i should have checked the html source before opening this...
----------Blimey talk about sympathy! Didn't have anything on Friday, so everyone decided to send me stuff. Nice :) Some of it's recycled, but i'll put it all up anyway.

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6/01/2006
----------Nothing in my inbox today - guess it's like that this time of the year since most people are on leave. Ahh well.

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5/01/2006
indian-telemarketing23-6-05.mp3 - And here they are calling me the next day - i took the opportunity to ask for some advice on whether i should give it a half or a full flush.
indian-telemarketing22-6-05.mp3 - Bit crap, but they called me again the next day
indian-telemarketing11-3-05.mp3 - This one's ok - got this call at work and made the guy repeat his script 3 times and i ended the call Steve Ballmer style :)
we-rent-here.mp3 - This one i received at home... can't exactly remember when. Someone tried to sell me a cheaper mortgage.
----------Haven't received much today. Ahh well - i'll put up some audio clips of when i received some cold calls mid last-year. If you can't open them, try right-clicking and selecting "save target as" or "save link as" and save it to your hard drive.
hooters.jpg - Hooters Calendar 2006

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4/01/2006
toilet.wmv - some CARE reqired with this one at work. Oldie, but a goodie.
smallguy.wmv - Bit silly
hairhat.jpg - Not a bad idea - you'll never forget it at least :)
boony_vb.mpg - Best ad :)

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3/01/2006
http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/woman-weds-dolphin/2005/12/30/1135732715098.html - "I made a dream come true. And I am not a pervert." - BAAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA idiot.
snowcar-1.wmv - Oldie, but a goodie
----------Happy new year everyone. I'm back at work and therefore back to updating franksemails.com with all the shite that comes my way. Enjoy.

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23/12/2005
----------Well, it's almost the end of the year. I'm taking annual leave and wont be back until the new year. Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you all. Keep the good emails coming - my address is at the bottom of this page.
worst-night-club-in-the-world.pps - OH YEAH!!!!
best-nightclub-in-the-world.pps - Oh yeah!
icescraping.wmv - Teehee :)

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22/12/2005
http://www.zangerbob.nl/video - WTF?!
http://franksemails.com/pics/hoff-pepsi-ads.html - Hoff Pepsi ads - what have we done!?
prom-night-in-da-hood.pps - Oldie, but a goodie.
youngbusinessmanoftheyear.jpg - Smart kid...
chopair.wmv - Another Chopper Reed clip. Funny stuff :)

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21/12/2005
merryxmas.gif - Yet another xmas animation you can annoy people with
lhommecadeau_1.mpeg - Oh yes very sexy
motherofthemonth.jpg - Mother of the month? More like mother of the year!

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20/12/2005
christmas_turkey.jpg - Should never had said that i'll recycle any xmas stuff i get - this one has been flogged to death already.
merrychristmas.pps - More recycled Christmas stuff...
http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20051209/113414040002.html - Puke!
http://cheston.com/pbf/archive.html - Some ripper comics in here :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/vintage_comics.html - Vintage Comics
rex.jpg - My mate Tony's new fulli sik zorst!
parking.jpg - :)
braille_porn.jpg - :)
http://www.santasez.sig-ad.com/ - Another one of those 'tell me what to do' things - this time without the hot chicks

---

19/12/2005
at_home_with_the_christmas_tree.pps - Didn't quite send me on a murderous rampage, but it came close.
http://www.extremeironing.com/ - What the?!
http://www.playerappreciate.com/pimphandle.asp - Yet another name generator...
xmasjack2.pps - This made me wanna kill someone
x-mas-gi.jpg - Another oldie.
wewishyouamerrychristmas.wmv - Oldie, but a goodie...
slap-your-co-worker-day.gif - Tomorrow is international slap your co-worker day. If someone's pissing you off, here's a demonstration on what you're allowed to do.
globalwarming.gif - The effects of global warming. Bit silly.
chair1.wmv - A chair for the ladies...
2006calendar.pdf - For the ladies...

---

16/12/2005
xmas.pdf - Engineers with too much time on their hands always produce the best stuff :)
twistand.jpg - BAAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA!!!!
warning-nsw-residents.htm - PLEASE pass on this warning to anyone you know!!!
http://franksemails.com/pics/hotty_swimsuit_calendar.html - Hotty Swimsuit Calendar - Noice!

---

15/12/2005
religions.jpg - Oldie - but now in t-shirt format!
woodchipperescape.wmv - A bit nasty this one... Never really liked escape artist tricks anyway.
pianostripper5.mpg - Another oldie - CAREFUL at work with this one.
candy.jpg - One for the kiddies :)
onedrinkpercustomer.jpg - "One drink per customer" will be this year's christmas party policy.
gerryoonradio.mp3 - Oldie, not bad...

---

14/12/2005
sydney_beach.jpg - Just gets funnier and funnier...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6558186083786660765 - Interesting way to park a front wheel drive
mcdonalds-tray-doughnuts.wmv - Bit silly
chicago.jpg - :)
cameltoads.jpg - Oh man, this is a classic.
pic08674.jpg - Another pic of the violence in Sydney.
whitechristmas.jpg - It's a bit crappy, but I did say a few days ago that i'll post anything Christmas related

---

13/12/2005
workplacesafety.html - Nice to see our tax dollars are being put to good use
new-toyota.wmv - "Fw: Forget Getting A Ferrari!"
greek-organisation.jpg - Yeah that's about right...
http://www.zeronews-fr.com/flash/mouse2.php - Not bad, isn't hard to finish.
ain_tnofreak_nbond.wmv - Compilation of accidents
hero.jpg - Is there anything he can't do?
newps2game.jpg - Cool, a new Grand Theft Auto game on the PS2... Hope they bring out an XBox version...
fotografiiartisticeyud2.pps - Nice collection of pics - I like the one at the end.
abc-news.jpg - :)

---

12/12/2005
5thwheel.wmv - Love the analysis at the end, what a pisser :)
vipervsferrari.wmv - Lucky bugger... Can't figure out that stupid accent though, sounds half Australian, half fake American.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5393904704265757054 - Exploding and vaporizing an AMD CPU – they overclock the thing and take off the heatsink – punches a hole through the motherboard
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6605730767077503480 - What happens to a smart car when smashed against a brick wall at 70mph (112km/h)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00028XKKM/102-0126305-3503368 - Pisser - read the comments
http://franksemails.com/pics/christmas-cutouts.html - Christmas cutouts
tj00_catfight.wmv - Oldie, but a goodie :)
crazydogs.wmv - Compilation of interesting dogs and their tricks
bud3.wmv - Another Bud Light ad - also not bad
bud2.wmv - Bud Light ad - not bad...
coca-cola11.wmv - Coke ad - not bad.
papillon.wmv - Pisser :)
de_bouw.wmv - Too good :) This is what all work places should be like :)

---

9/12/2005
http://www.hardocp.com/image.html?image=MTEzNDA1OTUxMnZwSWN2V2ZMSENfMV8xX2wuanBn - After the success that Apple has had with their ultra-small 2 and 4 gig iPod nano, Apple has taken the plunge and is going to release a 200 gig (you read right, two hundred gig!!!) iPod Nano very soon! Check out the sneak peak pic.
carefulwithyougart.wmv - Not bad :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/sevens.html - Sevens...
remote.jpg - JVC have brought out a new remote...

---

8/12/2005
http://franksemails.com/pics/nasty.html - Funny but nasty
chopper-weather-report.wmv - Chopper Reed's weather report - Pisser :)
life_as_a_guy.asf - Oldie, but a goodie
worldshappiestcouple.jpg - CAREFUL when opening this one.

---

7/12/2005
http://www.realestate.com.au/cgi-bin/rsearch?id=9018015&a=qfp&cu=&t=re - Now you can live with the Hoff! :) Great stuff :)
whatshedoin.jpg - Classy...
happyeverything.jpg - Spreading the holiday cheer...
http://www.chinmen.com - Very educational.
http://franksemails.com/pics/eggs.html - Egg Shells - interesting.
xmaspresent.jpg - Old. But given that it's that time of year, i'll recycle any xmas stuff i get from now on :)
gascylinsidevehicle.pps - Bugger...

---

6/12/2005
weddingdiary.pps - Bit silly, requires a bit of care at work too.
insolite1.pps - Various interesting pics
christmascakerecipe.pps - I'm baking me a cake this Christmas :)
aussie-mud-map.jpg - Cool stuff if it's true - "Well, Mother Nature keeps coming up with these surprises. Inland from Geraldton in the Murchison Region of WA. Photo taken by Conservation and Land Management (CALM) officers..."
http://franksemails.com/pics/touristphotos.html - Tourist photos - some new ones too.
hughonsnlkangaroo.wmv - :)
pool.jpg - Very creative - they could even drink themselves into a bigger pool :)
http://www.morpheme.co.uk/frenzy/ - See how fast you can type the alphabet - not bad.

---

5/12/2005
http://mathpwned.ytmnd.com/ - This is the very reason why I wasn't any good at maths
http://blueballfixed.ytmnd.com/ - Pretty cool...
snowfight.mpg - Awwww, cute horseys.
http://www.fat-pie.com/milkman.htm - BWAAAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA!!!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4497408.stm - Pisser :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/being-mean.html - How to be mean - some oldies.
http://franksemails.com/pics/truck_art.html - Truck Art
wife1.jpg - I always knew it was an acronym :)
southbeachthong.jpg - Noice
santa_11.wmv - "Why Santa didn't answer your letter"

---

2/12/2005
http://www.thebeerbelly.com/ - Now why didn't I think of this?
truck2_h.wmv - No Please Don't!!! Toorak tractors are enough!!! We don't need Toorak Trucks!!! (btw, this would have to be the ad of the year for sure!)
thehoffxmas.wmv - Time has been well spent producing this, watch it.
globe.swf - Fun for about a second
http://www.soccersucks.net/ - I like football... erm, soccer - but I think I like this website even more :)

---

1/12/2005
http://franksemails.com/pics/priceless.html - Priceless - oldies, but goodies.
http://franksemails.com/pics/women-drivers-of-the-year.html - Women drivers of the year (a couple of new ones in here)
http://franksemails.com/pics/my-last-photo-contest.html - "My last photo" contest
train.mpg - Annoying. I was kinda hoping a terrorist would blow up the carriage instead - that would have been funny.
http://www.rit.edu/~smo4215/flash/Eggs.swf - not a bad game...
efijy.pps - Awesome stuff - GM Holden's new toy :) The Herald-Sun's cars guide will feature it soon.

---

30/11/2005
xmasdeer.jpg - :)
http://www.insidebayarea.com/argus/localnews/ci_3244724 - Roshambo is now a martial art (check out the 2nd photo in the story)

---

29/11/2005
snoophoff.jpg - and another...
hoffjovi.jpg - Another stupid hoff pic...
kangaroo-court.wmv - Obviously this kangaroo didn't take this advice.
new_drug.wmv - Some parents may need this...
worst-sin.jpg - Warning to the dangers of...
http://franksemails.com/pics/findthebandnames.html - This is pretty cool - apparently there's 72 bands referenced in the picture. (UPDATED - more answers added!)
3wisewomen.jpg - Bit silly, but you might like it! :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/durex.html - More durex ads...

---

28/11/2005
http://www.theboxotruth.com/docs/bot5.htm - This guy should be on myth busters :) Love the comment at the end: "Ain't retirement great!" :)
letteroftheyear.pdf - Oldie, but a goodie :)
competition.swf - Bush Vs Blair - not bad :) Lots of swearing though so use headphones at work.
desert-meteor.wmv - wtf?!
foot_ability.wmv - :)
roasted-hefner.wmv - Sounds like a bunch of nice people...
zuidafrika.wmv - Bit silly, but still funny :)
badday.jpg - uh...

---

25/11/2005
clown1.wmv - Bit of an ass-clown this guy...
http://www.42below.com/callcentre/ - Singchi singchi singchi!!!
msright.jpg - Nice :)
magnet.jpg - Nice fridge magnet - I got this about a month ago and forgot to put it up - I'm pretty sure it's because i laughed so hard it must have escaped my mind. ahh well, just as well it got sent to me again...

---

24/11/2005
nice-background.jpg - teehee :) CARE required with this one...
aloisi.wmv - Winning penalty kick at the Australia Vs Uruguay World Cup qualifier. Wish i was there...
christmas-house.wmv - That is some serious effort - great stuff.
dancing-queen.wmv - BAAHUAHUAHUAHUA Pwwn3d! :)
santa.wmv - Not bad :)
http://www.meatspin.com - Ok, I really suggest that you DON'T open this at work because a lot of CARE IS REQUIRED with this one - it's complete filth (which i don't normally post on this site) but it's a pisser :) Looks like it's the new 'goat.cx', 'bottleguy.com', 'lemonparty.org' or 'tubgirl.com' (other sites which have been around for a while and you also shouldn't open these at work either). Actually, just don't open them - they'll scar you for life.

---

23/11/2005
snaketrick1.wmv - Bit silly...

---

22/11/2005
thailand.jpg - Oldie, but I've got a Thailand theme happening today, so what the hell...
spice-girl.jpg - What one of the Spice Girls are up to these days...
policedog.wmv - Awesome dog
wtf.jpg - Travel warning if you're headed to Thailand...

---

21/11/2005
next-time-let-me-drive.wmv - One of those brown-stainer moments...
fat_fall.wmv - I think I have a fat theme happening today...
rheem.wav - Oldie, but a goodie
hillbilly-dogs.jpg - They even bark in a southern accent.
supermario.wmv - If you've played Super Mario, this is a pisser :)
fatkid-rap.wmv - Foul mouth fat kid.
http://www.phonelosers.org/pranks_mcdonalds_sign.html - :)
http://www.twistedtoy.com/store/product_info.php?cPath=1&products_id=31 - Keep the kids amused with this.

---

18/11/2005
softcock.jpg - No comment.
http://franksemails.com/pics/speeding.html - Messing with a speed camera sign :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/homemadebike.html - Nice bike
driving.jpg - Don't like the car actually...
http://www.syncmag.com/article2/0,1895,1887761,00.asp - I want that t-shirt :)
http://www.banditos.info/speles/sobersanta2.swf - Bit silly...

---

17/11/2005
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5854686068870249151 - Training America's future psychos...
http://football.guardian.co.uk/Fiver/0,4022,1643962,00.html - Bloody hell - This pom needs to take a chill pill! (Re: "AUSTRALIA: AN APOLOGY")
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=349320&cc=3436 - Aww boohoo! I think Australia deserved it more on the day, buddy!
offtogermany.jpg - Didn't take long...
uruguay.jpg - Where's Uruguay? :) Not in the World Cup, that's where! :)
monkeypoo.wmv - This is the definition of insanity
helpjr.rtf - Poor guy... Can't believe they've actually got a website too www.helpjrgrow.com. I thought that surely this is a joke, but there's no entry in snopes.com so must be true! Somewhat funny at least anyway :)
kat.wmv - I bet the cat did it just to spite them :)

---

16/11/2005
http://www.smh.com.au/news/breaking-news/rugby-fan-cant-explain-cutting-out-testicles/2005/11/16/1132016820398.html - Good. We need idiots removing themselves from the gene pool.
http://franksemails.com/pics/womenexplainedbyengineers.html - Several oldies but goodies
oops.jpg - When not to run into a motorbike. Oops...
monkey_sucker.jpeg - This lil fella will never need a girlfriend :)
breakupletter.pps - think i've seen this before as a non-powerpoint thing... not bad anyway.
goodthingscometothosewhowait.wmv - Yet another amusing beer ad...
----------Bit late today, i know... didn't go to work (was sick - *cough* *cough* :)

---

15/11/2005
http://franksemails.com/pics/woman-scorned.html - Bugger... nice car too.
christmas.jpg - I guess it's that time of the year...

---

14/11/2005
got-head-banging.wmv - Old classic - Chop Suey's a great song too :)
sheep.pps - Another one of those reaction testers...
cv-of-the-year.pdf - A Maccas CV from a few years back - oldie, but a goodie :)
hello.jpg - Lionel Richie's new song. Sorry.

---

11/11/2005
arbitogay.wmv - Fancy football ref - oldie, but a goodie.
kawasaki.wmv - Not bad...
notbabydaddy.wmv - Pisser - such a victory dance! :)
jackhammer-dilemma.jpg - Don't worry about the jackhammer, worry about the jackass!
http://franksemails.com/pics/quality_ads.html - Some interesting ads...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5566658286032643965&q=mac%27s+are+bad - One thing worse than a Mac is a Mac zealot. This guy has redeemed himself :)
hofforism.pdf - I'm a hofferist - just that I use MS-Paint and not Photoshop (photoshop's for cheaters anyway :)
poor-tasty-jimmy.jpg - Awwww....

---

10/11/2005
prostate_exam.pps - Bit silly...
http://franksemails.com/pics/hunks.html - For the ladies...
dontevergetthisdrunk.mpeg - Oldie, but a goodie.
cheating-girlfriend.rtf - Well worth the read. There's no entry on snopes.com so it must be true :) - (4:20pm update): I'm not from NYC, so I don't know their slang - looked up "B&T Chick" (click). Never heard of "fingerblasting" either (wouldn't know if that's just an NYC thing though). (4:38pm update): I'm learning me some new words here, never knew what "taint" was either. What a pisser :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/pure-class.html - Very classy stuff...
bathurst-jobadvertisment.jpg - :) - Cick here if you dunno about Bathurst.
aids.jpg - Quite possibly the worst joke I've read (Thanks Chris). If I had to read it, then so should you.
buttrocket.wmv - Classic - I don't think I've laughed so hard in a long time

---

9/11/2005
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,17181506-13762,00.html - Oh yeah!
http://franksemails.com/pics/dog_abuse.html - Dog abuse - call the RSPCA.
seat_panda.wmv - Oh yeah, most hoons like to line 'em up against shitboxes. Right.
african-ipod.jpg - :)
pic22015.jpg - For the sake of not receiving this a hundred times 'cause people think it's funny, here it is. Old news now anyway...
http://franksemails.com/pics/nice-spider-bite.html - Nice spider bite
mind-test.doc - Hmm... I'm different.
iloveyoudog.wmv - Another one of thosse "i wuv woo" dogs... Now featured on Letterman!
http://viknluda.com/foe/video/google.html - You like my biodata... B.I.O.D.A.T.A :)

---

8/11/2005
http://absolutelyandy.com/tvadverts - Lots of interesting TV ads here

---

7/11/2005
skeleton_man.wmv - Very good stuff - quite a talented skeleton :)
ronnie-barker-joke.doc - Not bad...
retards_breakfast.wmv - :)
pole_vault_to_the_nuts.wmv - Oldie, but a goodie - ouch!
everypicturetellsastory.doc - Some old pics - Now in Word format!
chickendance.wmv - Is that guy dead? If it were me, I'd wanna be... (bit of CARE required at work)
bus_dodging.wmv - Bit silly
http://franksemails.com/pics/yogacomparison.html - Yoga - India vs Russian styles
turkeyshooter.pps - oldie, but a goodie...
http://franksemails.com/pics/worstalbumcovers.html - Worst album covers - there's some new ones in here (or some that I haven't seen before)
http://franksemails.com/pics/rentalcar.html - Citroen C4 Rental car insurance claim
palmpilot.jpg - BAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA!!!
dvd_writer.jpg - BAAHUAHUAHUAHUA...
bird_flu.jpg - BAAHUAHUA...

---

4/11/2005
arrested-texasstyle.wmv - That'll learn him...
effhoff.jpg - Almost time to...
moodycow.jpg - I think i'll store that number in my mobile... Old classic :)
lanecovetunnel.gif - Bloody hell... (if you're not from Aus, here's an explanation)
alto_ad.mov - Great ad :)
yoda_dog.jpg - It's supposed to be the "Halloween costume of the week". Poor dog.

---

3/11/2005
http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm - How to have a baby in Germany. What happened the bukkake scene though?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mb606/F2241577?thread=1247780 - Pisser :) The main story is now missing, but someone copied/pasted it in the 2nd page of the thread.
http://www.happytreefriends.com/ - Don't ask me why, but that angry alien site kinda reminded me of this old classic...
http://www.angryalien.com/ - This is great :) The Pulp Fiction one's pretty cool :)

---

2/11/2005
http://johnhaller.com/jh/mozilla/firefox_internet_explorer/ - Why the hell would you wanna do this?!? How about making IE look like Firefox - oh, that's right, you can't do tabs in IE
charades2.jpg - :)
http://www.coorslight.com/iceswipe/ - Cool drawing thingy. Needs sound.
pumpkinfaces.pps - More Halloween stuff - pretty cool pumpkin carvings.
monkey.swf - Oldie, but a goodie
http://news.com.com/2300-1042_3-5921342-6.html - Nerds taking Halloween too far...
http://www.microsoft.com/uk/technet/itsshowtime/sessionh.aspx?videoid=9999 - What Microsoft are now doing to share your pain with bugs and crashes (Click on "See a preview")

---

31/10/2005
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/toiletscare.html - How to scare the shit out of someone, literally :)
anotherschapellepic.jpg - Took a while to reach my inbox... Either that or whoever photoshoped it is a bit slow.
car_soccer.wmv - Mind the crap music. Would've been cool to have seen a tackle :)
----- - Well, it's the day before Melbourne Cup day, and since it's a public holiday tomorrow, I thought I'd take today off as well so I can have a long weekend - which is why I'm late with today's stuff. Ahh well, you'll live :)

---

28/10/2005
hurricanedavid1979.jpg - Hurricane David, 1979.
ratmonstermig74.wmv - God it's funny watching fancy boys scream :)
beer.wmv - Maybe if he came out with a VB instead I'd be cheering...
slappy.wmv - Good contender for email of the year :)
cnn-report-on-fellatio.pdf - Reminder for the ladies (work safe)
http://davidfunk.net/happyfood/gallery.htm - :)

---

27/10/2005
http://franksemails.com/pics/morehoffpics.html - Some new hoff pics (I haven't seen 'em before anyway...)
birdflu.jpg - "First case of bird flu in Paris"
bmw6.wmv - not bad :)
watchthebackground.wmv - Watch the kid in the background - CAREFUL when opening at work.

---

26/10/2005
mosstril5000_1.wmv - :)
mulletpresentation.pps - An old classic.
vollsuff22yk.jpg - That's quite a collection.
http://franksemails.com/pics/playboy-de-billboard.html - Billboard for Playboy Germany (bit of care required)
wheresmywife.wmv - :)
sandpaper.wmv - Bloody hell!!! Crazy bastards - almost as bad as the tooth yank clip I sent out on the 5/8.
thekiss.jpg - uh...
niceuniform.jpg - What the subject line said: "I could be wrong, but judging by his uniform, this guy jus tain't gonna make it!!!!"
i-luv-u.jpg - I get this one about once a year in my mailbox and it gets funnier each time :)
funnyhalloweencostume.jpg - Great costume :)

---

25/10/2005
regiscascadeur.mpeg - ...and another oldie, but a goodie.
konst-igt.pps - A couple of oldies to finish the day off... first, some arty pics...
gasprices.pps - I bought that plasma I reckon...
endodropped.mpeg - Whoops!
soccercat.jpg - Stupid ball, in the way again...

---

24/10/2005
http://franksemails.com/pics/brucelee.html - Cool Bruce Lee videos
shadows.jpg - :)
hurricanewilma.jpg - Picture of hurricane Wilma. Was kind of expecting this...
newcamelbrand.jpg - New brand of Camel ciggies (CAREFUL when opening at work)
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=68134 - The hoff at the ARIAs
easy.mpeg - How embarrassment.
ouch.mpg - That can't be good for his back.
goal.mpeg - Another old classic - Don't think I'd wanna be that keeper...
backflip.mpg - Used to see this a lot in cartoons as a kid. Pisser :)
armyassault.wmv - Oldie, but a goodie... Good to see we have a fighting chance against those terrorists.
wet-t-shirt.jpg - Yep, that t-shirt's pretty wet
http://thebrokenjoystick.com/pictures/LEDpr0n - Maybe this is what I should have been doing in those boring electronics labs back in my uni days…

---

21/10/2005
crocodile.pps - The subject line warned me: "Hope you have a strong stomach"... Just thought i'd pass on the warning.
femalebrewery.wmv - Thank god they're doing it otherwise I wouldn't have anything to drink!
http://people.freenet.de/schnubelken/bunnys/ - This is great - useful info if you're a bunny and you wanna end your life.
beefandblackbean.jpg - mmmm that looks tasty!

---

20/10/2005
wasserbett.wmv - :)
sofitel-toilet-queenstown-nz.jpg - Looks like they'll be cleaning those bench tops a lot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=Dsozmn8IYmI - This is insane :) Even with all those batteries, you probably wouldn't wanna operate it for too long without the car running... Then again, I'm sure the alternator would struggle with it too...
pumpkin.jpg - One for the ladies (bit of CARE required)
prince.jpg - Princess Mary's new baby boy :)
timemachineforsale-trademe11.co.nz.pdf - Pisser :) Love the comments :)
attitumemotherinlaw.gif - What to do if your mother-in-law gives you cheek.
fatcontroller.mpg - And another oldie, but a goodie.
matrixpingpong.wmv - Oldie, but a goodie.

---

19/10/2005
http://www.ski.com.au/scripts/admin/news/vnews.pl?ad=-100776-&year=2005 - They should really rename it to Mt Hoffam. This is great :)
http://franksemails.com/apcmag.html - Just call me "Mr November"!!!
variouspics09.pps - Some old, some new...
terrorist.jpg - Uh....
manskeyboard.jpg - Oldie, but a goodie :)
fearfactor.wmv - Kinda like a money-shot in a pr0n clip towards the end, but with a spider instead.
http://www.molestationnursery.com - And last but not least, we have the "Mole Station Native Nursery", based in New South Wales
http://www.therapistfinder.com - Need a therapist? Try "Therapist Finder"
http://www.penisland.net - Looking for a pen? Look no further than "Pen Island"
http://www.expertsexchange.com - This is supposed to be "Experts Exchange", a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views. The actual site now is www.experts-exchange.com. They changed it for obvious reasons :)
http://www.whorepresents.com - This is actually supposed to be "Who Represents?" a database for agencies to the rich and famous.

---

18/10/2005
blowdarts.wmv - Hmmm... I need me some of them.

---

17/10/2005
http://www.waxhoff.com/ - Oh baby!
short-story.jpg - Not much of a novel or a short story reader, but this one is well worth the read.
http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm - Have fun with Dubbaya...
http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/notsametruck.jpg - Maybe they can also offer to pump your septic tank into your swimming pool.
dolphin-dog.jpg - Awww...

---

14/10/2005
itsfriday.gif - It sure is, and I'm going home...
http://dropitlikeitshoff.com/ - Probably the best hoff site yet - especially because the guy decided to use my pic of the hoff (hover your mouse over my pic above, or click on it to see what I'm on about)
ghost.wmv - "Listen carefully and you can even hear the ghost before you see it…"... yeah right, seen too many of these and i'd rather not lose what's left of my hearing :)
gentlemen.wmv - Never knew French people that were this classy.
chinese_steve_irwn.wmv - another idiot...
granny.wmv - Got her!
cat-before.jpg - Nice sleepy kitty... not any more - cat-after.jpg

---

13/10/2005
watchthegame-care.wmv - Got a bit too excited by the look of it. Bit of care required.
http://trapdoor.darb.net/albums/General-Forum-Images/grannyairbag_1.wmv - Strong granny?
http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,16907345%255E1702,00.html - Moved on from rooting sheep have we?
toomany.wmv - Such chainsaw action!
hi-techburglars.wmv - Probably a fake, but a pisser nonetheless :)
letterstogod.jpg - :)

---

12/10/2005
airbag2.gif - And to keep up with the car theme we have going today, check out this highly amusing animated gif. Bit of CARE required.
airbag.jpg - Uh...
lowndeswheel.mpeg - Here's another wheel video clip - this is a clip from Craig Lowndes at Bathurst last week. Lucky we don't drive left hand drive cars here :)
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1568454.html - Hmmm... looks a bit sus to me... kinda looks like this one here.
garden_firecracker_shooting.wmv - Dopey bastards. That'll learn him. He'll be next in line for a Darwin award I reckon... Can't be too long now.
wheel.wmv - Too good :) That wheel knew where it wanted to be :)

---

11/10/2005
thefalkirkwheel(scotland).pps - Big weal! (BAAHUAHUAHUA!!! geddit? deal rhymes with wheel?! BAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA!!!)
http://www.afcweb.org/ - Almost a contender for the Darwin awards. Go to the HC Demonstration videos. It goes for a little while though. Apparently one of the guys in the clip has been charged and convicted over this.
michelin.jpg - Can't think of a comment.
tenthingsyouwontseeoncnn.pps - Some interesting pics I suppose.
http://smartasses.org/aussiequiz.html - Not much of an outback Aussie myself (grew up in Melbourne), so i guess 17/20 ain't bad.
http://www.mybarbarian.com/mb-web/video/unicorns_hi.mov - D&D Nerds taking their shit too far. If I wasted 5 minutes of my life, then so should you. Open it and watch the whole thing.

---

10/10/2005
http://www.devilducky.com/media/36028/ - One more from that devilducky site. Not a bad site - doesn't have as much crap banner ads as most of them do.
http://www.devilducky.com/media/36267/ - I'm sure they did plenty of research on their target audience back in those days.
toyotacowrolla.jpg - Toyota's done pretty well with the Prius hybrid. Now here's a sneak preview of their new car that needs no petrol at all!
http://www.devilducky.com/media/8658/ - Bit silly...
http://www.lifetimetv.com/games/game.php?game=cinema2 - Pretty cool film quiz - very slick looking too (just like my website :)
http://ad.uk.tangozebra.com/00004337/Microsite/build.html - Music quiz. Didn't recognise any of the music though
goats.wmv - Hmm... I can see how these would survive in the wild. A predator would think that they're too stupid to eat.
where-to-attack.wmv - This is a pisser - It's confirmed (again) - yanks are stupid.

---

7/10/2005
mencanmultitask.asf - An old classic - ripper :)
scubadivingcat.wmv - Maybe they can train it to work on secret missions...
all_daddy_wanted.jpg - It's all I want!
http://franksemails.com/ollie.html - This is great - type in a question and it'll tell you the truth.
http://franksemails.com/pics/parkinginspectors.html - Another franksemails.com special!
http://entertainment.news.com.au/story/0,10221,16841277-10229,00.html - OH MY GOD!!!! I don't think I can contain myself!!!!
oldhongkongairport.doc - Would have love to have landed here when it was still in use :)
mutetourette.jpg - Looks like me when I was little...
jehovas.jpg - That'd keep me from knocking as well...

---

6/10/2005
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,171358,00.html - "Python Tries to Eat Alligator, Explodes"
chandelier1.jpg - This is a pretty cool chandelier... click here to see what it's made from
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5614695213&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&rd=1 - Can't believe this sold for $US6,100... especially since it started at 99 cents! Then again, since the winning bidder doesn't have any feedback, it must have been a fake bidder. Funny stuff :)
funny_sunday_night_sex_show.wmv - Pisser - Headjobs the old fashioned way... little bit of CARE required at work. Also, make sure you're not drinking coffee as you open this 'cause you're likely to spray it all over your screen.
man_show_kid__fake_id_.wmv - Too funny :) Gotta love that kid :)
safe-sex-in-nz.jpg - Uh...
officememo.doc - Oldie, but useful for employers who want a happy workplace :)

---

5/10/2005
http://www.google.com - Uh... yeah... it's google :) Pretty cool hey? Try typing in "miserable failure" (with or without the quotes, doesn't matter) and click on "I'm feeling lucky"
https://www.blowfly.com.au/Pages.aspx?type=product&id=17 - Whoa!!! You can buy hoff beer!!! It's Hoffalicious!
http://darb.net/photos/anonymous/DarwinAwardWinner.wmv - I guess he isn't as good as the person in the trustdriver_1.wmv clip from the other day...

---

4/10/2005
dontstealparkingspace2.jpg - Ouch again...
dontstealparkingspace1.jpg - Probably deserved it but, ouch!
bootyclap111.mpeg - Ohhh NOOOICEE!!! (little bit of CARE required at work).

---

3/10/2005
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8335653541&ru=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch.ebay.co.uk%3A80%2Fsearch%2Fsearch.dll%3Fcgiurl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fcgi.ebay.co.uk%252Fws%252F%26fkr%3D1%26from%3DR8%26satitle%3D8335653541%2B%26category0%3D%26fvi%3D1 - Damn, i missed out on it...
trustdriver_1.wmv - If you look closely, you can see their pants turning brown
submachine.swf - looks like a pretty cool game. Kinda like the games from here. Haven't bothered with it yet though.
newpassatfactoryingermany.pps - Doesn't look like your average factory
gaytest.swf - Try this test just to make sure...

---

30/09/2005
http://www.smh.com.au/news/World/Hoax-NZ-dolphin-sale-worries-Aussies/2005/09/30/1127804650628.html - I'll admit to it - stupid Aussies...
penguinjoke.wmv - Oldie, but a goodie :)
xmascancelled.jpg - First xmas joke for the year. Yay.

---

29/09/2005
dolphin4sale.pdf - :)
usnavythoughtsoniraq.jpg - Don't worry, you already have...
stressfuloldman.mpe - "Do you ever feel like this as work?"
http://www2.b3ta.com/realistic-internet-simulator/internet-simulator.swf - Too funny :) made by the same guy who did the "Hey hey 16k" clip
http://www2.b3ta.com/heyhey16k/heyhey16k.swf - This is awesome. If you're a nerd who had a Commodore 64/C16/C128/C+4/Amstrad CPC/Apple ][/Spectrum/etc/etc/etc/etc, this will bring a tear to your eye. If you're not, open it anyway and learn some history.
caught_on_webcam.wmv - Would have been funny if it wasn't a set up.
heineken.jpg - Heineken's new ad campaign
antiamericanprotest.jpg - Probably mocked up by some idiot yank.

---

28/09/2005
stuff21.pps - A collection of some great pics - Needs some CARE when opening at work.
counters.pdf - Good idea this one :) I should probably put up some of the recordings I have from taking a few cold calls from Indian telemarketers. Maybe later...
priceless-bigdude.jpg - Kinda like the pic i have of me at http://www.regrev.com. That was at a winery tour that I went on in the Yarra Valley earlier this year. Pay attention to the background.
period.mpg - Such a supportive bunch of workmates they are...
parashos.jpg - My wog mate's uncle's house in Chicago...
http://y.wimp.com/v/presidential.wmv - This is a pisser. Best Bush video clip yet :)
http://www.introducingmonday.co.uk/ - Last oldie...
karatechimp.wmv - And another one... pretty talented monkey!
amuppetsproduction.pps - A few 'oldies, but goodies' to start with.

---

27/09/2005
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=64616 - Toorak Tractor drivers, take note. (If you're a foreigner, before you ask, click here)
catchphrase.wmv - Pisser :)
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/121829.php - MC Hoff in da house!!!
seahorse.jpg - Oldie and a shocker...
carpeteer.wmv - If this isn't a good enough reason to quit smoking, then I dunno what is.
willyhoffka.jpg - Who they should have picked to star in this movie...
doesyourplaystationdothis.wmv - Very good ad - be CAREFUL when opening at work
dc.jpg - ok, i've been sent this around 10 times, so i think it's about time i sent it out...
bp_price_rise_apology.jpg -

---

26/09/2005
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1577753,00.html - "Armed and dangerous - Flipper the firing dolphin let loose by Katrina "
hamster.jpg - Hamster fun.
bushdead.jpg - Bush has finally carked it! BAAAAHUAHAUHUAHUAHUA!!!
tourette.jpg - I think i'll check myself into here :)

---

23/09/2005
http://70.84.34.106/~mediaun/ngame.swf - Cool game :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/neworleanscroc.html - I think i'll might recycle these pics when Hurricane Rita hits... Although I think i'll have to photoshop those people so that they're white instead (no, I'm not a racist, bugger off!)
batmansnewride.jpg - Consequences of increased petrol prices
speedcam-hurricane.jpg - I think I'll take this opportunity to plug another website of mine. Haven't gotten around to finishing yet though. Here it is: www.speedcameraskill.com

---

22/09/2005
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/article/ds24569.html - A Cliff Richard fan accused me of regurgitating whatever crap came my way (RE: first link posted for today, below). I must admit, I hate chain/rumor mail (see my link to snopes.com at the bottom of this page), but I was happy with the original story the way that it was and willing to not do any research on the matter - then this Cliff Richard fan had to spoil it for me with this link. Thanks buddy.
http://www.abc.net.au/southeastsa/stories/s1464216.htm - "Cyclists' penis"? How about "Rider's cock"!?
http://franksemails.com/pics/idiotoftheyear.html - Yep, he's an idiot alright.
sharonstonescotchcommercial.wmv - :)
profanerider.wmv - The ultimate Hoff email - use headphones when at work, the Hoff's using some profanities
brownlow2005-2.pps - Here's another version of the same shit
brownlow2005.pps - Here we go... damn brownlow slideshows again...
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/article/ds24536.html - Oh, thank GOD!!!!

---

21/09/2005
artificialinsemination.wmv - Funny ad. That viralx.com website seems interesting too.
turkey.jpg - He also sent me this one... must have got it off engrish.com I guess...
http://www.fun.from.hell.pl/2003-02-18/peeping.swf - Little bit of CARE required with this one. Our resident gay bloke at work felt that he had to send me this.
caringandsharing.doc - Could use some of these...
solution-to-hoff-emails.jpg - I suppose people have been running this lately - don't see as many hoff emails any more

---

20/09/2005
cleanyourlenses.wmv - Oldie, but a goodie...
http://www.cartmanthearistocrat.com/ - Southpark video clip - it's over 17 meg, but it's worth it.
shark_148.avi - I can see this catching on... CARE required when opening at work.
http://franksemails.com/pics/locum.html - I guess it's one way to make yourself known worldwide - they can expand to other countries now :)
instantdeath.jpg - I guess they'd send the fine to your family...
http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/cat_steve_dont_eat_it.php - mmmm.... making me hungry.
besthalloweencostumeever.jpg - Good effort :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/devastatingweather.html - Melbourne's fair share of bad weather...

---

19/09/2005
newseatbeltdesign.jpg - Can't argue with this one...
youthink.jpg - Poor guy
whyjapanesewomenneversmile.jpg - CAREFUL opening at work...
stupidcat.wmv - :)
http://andy.saturn9.ws/funny/bang.swf - Old classic :)
hoffia_phone.jpg - The new nokia... Stupid, really.
fosters_bungee.wmv - We don't get these ads here :(
altonawedding.pps - Classic... Substitute "Altona" with your local dodgy wog suburb (before you get offended, I'm of Greek descent, and yes it's a perfectly legitimate excuse to make a racist remark - so bugger off)... (20/9/05) - Several people have informed me that this has been around for a while - but instead of Altona wedding, it's "Irish wedding" or "English wedding". That'd be right. (32/9/05) Turns out that i had sent this before already as chavwedding.pps (see 1/9/05). Because I couldn't open it then, i didn't see it. ahh well :)

---

16/09/2005
helicoptercrash.wmv - That would have been a fun ride
bush_response_to_hurricane_katrina.jpg - Top bloke
asheswine.jpg - How's this - There's a couple of poms that work where I work, and before their big win, they say that Cricket is much bigger in Australia than it is in the UK, and that the English regard Cricket to be as interesting as Golf (I don't watch much sport, but if you don't like cricket - you're an ass in my books!). Now there's ticker tape parades left, right and centre and everyone over there is so happy it's as if they've won a war. My my, how they've changed their tune... I don't mind, I'm quite happy that they've finally won an Ashes series after so long. Even if it's mostly because of their shitty weather. I can't even see the bottle anyway - must be the bad light.
jordanweddingdress.jpg - I wonder if she can fit one of those extra long toilet rolls up there...

---

15/09/2005
qantas-air-nz-merger.jpg - :)
confinedspaceentryprocedures.pps - Oldie rehashed.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/The-Roswell-Rod-60s-Ed-Roth-style-bubble-top_W0QQitemZ4571515336QQcategoryZ6472QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem - Nice car...
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050914/ids_photos_ts/r2587077477.jpg - "REUTERS runs 'Bush needs a bathroom break' note on Photo wire...". Great work :)
http://www.stuffonmycat.com - Bizzare site about animals No.3
http://www.beedogs.com - Bizzare site about animals No.2. My mate Steve pretty much has the right idea: "...the premier online repository for pictures of dogs in bee contumes? Try the only repository for for pictures of dogs in bee contumes!"
http://www.petoffice.co.jp/catprin/english/ - Bizzare site about animals No.1
http://petrol.racv.com.au/index.jsp - Not a bad petrol guide if you live in Victoria. Too bad it mostly suggests those independant petrol stations that use shitty fuel. You couldn't give it away for me to pump that shite into my car.
cupcake.wmv - How is it that if you do this to your Missus, you're in serious trouble, but it's ok for them to do it?
kkk.wmv - Healthy bloke...
yourwifecalled.wmv - Not bad...
romantik.jpg - I've sent this before, but i thought i'd stick it up here as well - very classy.
canadas-famous-cn-tower-in-toronto.jpg - Great pic of the tower...
flint-hoff1.jpg - And again...
answer.jpg - England's answer to reclaim the Ashes.

---

14/09/2005
dove.wmv - Ripper :)
http://www.headstaggers.prodigynet.co.uk/flash/ringtone.swf - Hahahahaah this is a pisser :) I'm making this my ringtone for sure :) Make sure you use headphones at work - contains vile language.
DJCrazyFrog-Popcorn.mpg - Dickhead frog with his dick swinging everywhere again...
godandhoff.jpg - God and Hoff.
english-cops.wmv - I was gonna write something about the Ashes, but I can't figure out what, so never mind...
readthecaption.jpg - What a beauty from Melbourne's Saturday Herald-Sun... Check out the caption. Given that the 'n' is no where near the 'u' and 't' on a qwerty keyboard, also given that they have an automatic obscenity checker which I don’t think can normally be bypassed (I used to work on their software and I've seen it work), and also given the fact they have people employed exclusively for proofreading editorial content (or at least they used to before this :), this is one hell of a typo to make!
kickoff.jpg - Randy has supplied me with some of the finest hoff pics you'll ever see, and I must admit, kickoff.jpg is champagne hoff. What a champion. Click here and here to see how much of a legend this guy is.

---

13/09/2005
duistop.wmv - Probably a set up bit still somewhat amusing
camel.jpg - Not a bad camel toe - bit of CARE required when opening. Click here for a closeup
http://www.channel4.com/sport/microsites/B/bringiton/bringiton.html - Stupid poms...

---

12/09/2005
gangsta.jpg - I think we're scraping the bottom of the barrel here...
hottentot1.jpg - Stupid. Don't bother opening it.

---

9/09/2005
skynewsbush.jpg - Now the news people are saying it like it is! Awesome picture :)
http://www.deathclock.com/ - You guessed it, it tells you how much time you've got left.
flowchart.pps - Oldie, but a goodie.
popeyesmother.jpg - "FW: They found Popeye's mother"
katrina61.jpg - Finally, help arrives for Katrina victims.
dreams.jpg - Got teachers to blame for this one - apparently spelling is no longer important to them.
terrific_theme_park.pps - Now that'd scare the crap outa me...
gas_1.wmv - I guess the yanks are really starting to fill the pinch in their 6 litre V8's
garlandofoosball.wmv - Another oldie - this is great. Amazing what you can do when you play too much foosball.
sirtaki.mpa - Oldie this one - The malaka chokes on an olive trying to act cool.
discoveryneil.pps - Pictures of space 'n' stuff
shell21.jpg - Petrol Vs Coke.
http://franksemails.com/pics/winniecooper.html - Ever wonder what happened to Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years? Neither have I, but she's pretty good looking now I must admit...
http://www.surrealcode.com/daisydukedances4you/index.html - Make Jessica Simpson dance by moving your mouse over her. Bit silly.
foundit.jpg - Hey hey!!! Katrina's lunch has been found!
bushinneworleans.jpg - Top bloke...
howtomakeacowjealous.wmv - Uh... CAREFUL opening at work.
barbie_in_a_turban.jpg - hmmm.... Stupid. Some people will think it's funny. CAREFUL opening at work.
katrinavsmelinda.jpg - And here's a pic version of it. I've also got individual pics of them as well which are a lot clearer, but this'll do.
katrinavsmelinda2.rtf - Here's another trail of it :)
katrinavsmelinda.rtf - At the risk of being sued, here's the stolen lunch email thing that's been spreading like wildfire
--------------- Once again, you're away for a day, and your mailbox is full of shite. Actually, it ain't that bad this time around. Katrina and Melinda is yesterday's highlight :)

---

7/09/2005
1stM5inSA.pps - Judging by the file name, i'm guessing this was the 1st M5 (of that model) in South Australia? Poor bastard...
http://www.419eater.com/ - Here's another site - Do a search for nigerian scam baiting or just "scambaiting" on google, there's heaps of stuff on this :)
http://www.groovygames.com/scamble/wickedwendy.htm - A short but sweet response :) Too good :)
http://www.groovygames.com/scamble/mugo.htm - Baiting the scammers - this is an email log between a Nigerian 419 scammer and some guy who likes to bait them and lead them on :) Very funny stuff :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/petrolpics.html - Some comics of petrol prices - I'm guessing this is from the U.S. - they shouldn't winge, they've got the cheapest petrol. Australia ain't too bad either I suppose... Especially compared to Europe!
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,16521333-13762,00.html - "Testicle festival left hanging"
who_are_you11.xls - Again, if I had to suffer receiving this, then so should you.
workplaceprayer.jpg - If I had to suffer receiving this, then so should you.
winnie.gif - Another oldie, Winnie the Poo(h)
volltref.mpg - Oldie this one - baseball game where the ball hits the bird - this time in Spanish! :)
http://y.wimp.com/a/purse.swf - Never mind if it's a set up, that's still gotta hurt!
katrina.pps - Another bunch of pictures of the aftermath of hurricane Katrina
ideal_job-joh.xls - I'm a Rabbit Slayer

---

6/09/2005
bushsanta.jpg - Maybe he was still too busy thinking about this to be worried about New Orleans?
carshowlicker.wmv - Yep, that's an appropriate thing to do...
viaducmillau.pps - Whoa! That's one hell of a bridge!
katrina_devastation.pps - Some pictures of the disgrace that is the United States Of America - if they can't look after their own, then how can they look after other countries? Never mind, it's only the poor and/or the black that are dying, hey Bush?
wedding_ring.wmv - oldie, but a goodie
coolpics1.pps - Yep, some cool pics in here :) plenty of them too. CARE required with a couple of them at work.
funnycards_1.doc - The first one's mildly amusing, then it's downhill from there...
hangoverratings1.doc - oldie... but... uh... yeah, it's ok i suppose...

---

5/09/2005
machoman.jpg - At least it covers the builder's crack... i guess... Classy.
http://franksemails.com/pics/weddingcakes.html - Interesting wedding cakes - CAREFUL when opening at work
http://ad.uk.tangozebra.com/00003964/NatwestCricketGame/Game/base.html - Pretty cool cricket game :)
workplacecare.jpg - uh...
beer.xls - mmmm... beer....
http://franksemails.com/pics/aginggracefully.html - Not so Noice...
http://franksemails.com/pics/bikinicontest.html - Noice! (bit of CARE required at work)
http://franksemails.com/pics/sonsthatmaketheirdadsproud.html - Good kids :)
http://franksemails.com/pics/variouspics.html - Some interesting signs
http://pranked.hopto.org/voicemessages/symparax01_29_Aug_2005_14_38_32.wma - This one you have to check out :)
http://pranked.hopto.org/ - Here's the main site - check it out as it has an explanation of what this guy does :)
http://pranked.hopto.org/chatlogs/albertmyint%20-%20strangerx1.log - Too good :)
clip_image0011.jpg - I think girls find this funny.
somebodylovesyou1.pps - This is very sweet :) it's a good message so make sure you read it all :)

---

2/09/2005
bulls3.wmv -
bulls2.wmv -
bulls1.wmv -
bulls.wmv - bulls hurting people are funny
italysanswertobobthebuilder.jpg -
amazingpictureshow.pps - some nice pics
http://koti.mbnet.fi/peuris2/arkisto/pr0ncollection.jpg - This is an error message i received the other day on my PC.

---

1/09/2005
----------------- Well that's it. Hope you enjoyed it all. There's a couple more, but they require seperate pages, and it's late, so i'll do them tomorrow.
worstkin.wmv - Pisser :) poor bastard :)
visionscreening.doc - Ok, i'm not at work and i dont have MS Office installed at home, and i can't be bothered installing it just to see what this is. I'm sure it's really funny though.
undies.jpg - :)
thehornguy.wmv - Old classic - quite a talent this guy has. wouldn't it had been funny if someone had re-arranged all the horns before he stepped out on stage? :)
soldierr.doc - I think it's crap so don't bother. Don't remember if it is, open it and find out.
smartdog.wmv - Yep, smart dog.
scam.jpg - Girls, be aware of this scam.
http://www.comfortpets.com/ - Uh, what Waz said: "Cuddly pet coffins So Tiddles died and you feel lonely? Don't worry. Why not have him cremated and the ashes put inside a stuffed toy that you can take to bed and cuddle up with? Widowers, why not try sticking your dead wife's ashes up a RealDoll's rubber cunt? Pretty much the same kind of thing, no?" (23/9/05) Actually, it turns out he was simply quoting this page.
http://www.toiletmap.gov.au - I think i sent this around a couple of months back, but here it is again - good 'ol public servants doing their best work. Seriously, WTF.
http://www.matera.com.au/historyofdockers/ - I don't understand it as much 'cause i don't really follow AFL, but you might.
http://www.linkworld.ws/funny/monkey/ - Another classic - try to get over 200mph
http://www2.b3ta.com/gash-or-tash/ - Pretty easy - there's pics of girls muffs and boys beards and you have to pick out which one's which. lots of fun for the whole family.
http://www.mcsaatchi.webcentral.com.au/tennischallenge/optus_tennis_site_edited.html - Old classic tennis game thing that Optus had a few years back
http://www.supergreekmusic.com/audio/bamiestoday/Runaround_Soula.wma - Funny if you speak Greek. I pissed myself at the driggy driggy bit :) There's some other ones in that supergreekmusic.com site that are quite funny too.
opticalillusions01.pps - some illusions (some people email me and tell me that franksemails.com must be an illusion - they tell me "surely such an awesome website cannot exist in this universe, can it?")
moviequiz2b.xls - and another quiz
minipopsb.xls - Another one of those MS Excel quizzes that you oh so love...
malaysianidol.wmv - There's some very sexy people on Malaysian Idol
lionstalkinggiraffe.jpg - crappy and mildly amusing pic No.5
kfcoriginalrecipechicken.doc - finger licking good. if anyone makes this, can u please let me know if it tastes like KFC? KFC is shite, but i like seasoning they use. My email's at the bottom of this page. thanks :)
image005.jpg - crappy and mildly amusing pic No.4
image003.gif - crappy and mildly amusing pic No.3
image002.jpg - crappy and mildly amusing pic No.2
image001.jpg - crappy and mildly amusing pic No.1
howtospotamillionaire2.jpg - oldie but a goodie - noice anyway.
howtospotamillionaire1.jpg - oldie but a goodie - noice anyway.
gorbechoff.jpg - yep, another hoff...
google.jpg - I think i've sent this one around before... can't remember... probably before franksemails.com... here it is again anyway...
eddiemcguire.jpg - yep, Eddie looks drunk.
http://www.m90.org/view_image.php?image_id=7209 - yep, dumb.
drivingtoofast.jpg - yep, cute.
http://www.franksemails.com/colombiaphoto.html - Nice photo from up high.
chavwedding.ppt - Powerpoint stuffed up on me with this one, so i have no idea what this is either.
bruits.pps - Haven't opened this one - CBF.
big_jump.mpg - I think this is from a TV competition to find out who can jump to their death without screaming. He wins.
3sooty.jpg - Here we go, i probably wont say much about each thing i stick up, 'cause there's too many of them. As for this one - cute.

-------------- Back from Cairns where it pissed down raining pretty much every day i was up there (which is very strange for FNQ this time of year). I've come back to over 60 emails - mostly joke emails - might take me a while to get them all up here, so be patient!

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23/08/2005
---------------- Well, I'm off to Cairns and Palm Cove for a wedding and holiday. I'll be back next Wednesday probably with a shitload of stuff to put up. Don't miss me too much :)
perfectgynaecologist.jpg - it's been 5 minutes and i can't think of a comment. just open it - especially if you're easily offended.
Oh, hang on, here's a comment worth publishing - Thanks Steve for your response - "That fucking sucks dude. I swear, you're just not happy until you've inflicted pain are you?!?"
stuntcity.wmv - Pretty cool ad - It's in Dutch but it seems like it was shot in Australia (i.e.: the Taxi's a Falcon and the cop car's a Commodore). Very cool though
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5608836474&indexURL=0#ebayphotohosting - Don't miss out on this one...
brettlee.mpg - Brett Lee getting sucked in :)
http://franksemails.com/exorcist.html - pretty cool game from the movie 'Exorcist, The Beginning'.

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22/08/2005
http://franksemails.com/pics/silveraudi.html - Bloody hell, this'll learn me for not sending stuff out the moment I get it - i've received these pics at least 6 or 7 times over the last few weeks. Anyway, it's an Audi and it's made from silver. Very nice.
eyequiz.xls - And yet another quiz to start the week with. Can't be bothered with it myself, but it might be good enough for you...

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19/08/2005
filmquiz.xls - Another time waster... This time with movies.
howitallstarted1.wmv - Pretty cool Heineken ad...
howitallstarted2.wmv - And another...
howitallstarted3.wmv - Last one...
sitcoms.xls - The person who sent me this left all the answers on - but don't worry, I removed them all. Now you've got something productive to do at work today.
hoffen-ss.jpg - Woohoo, someone's finally emailed me at my mail address. Thanks Adam, you're the first :)

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18/08/2005
---------------- Don't normally paste jokes in here, but this one's pretty good: ""Mujibar was trying to get into Australia legally through Immigration. The Immigration Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter Australia." Mujibar said, "I am ready." The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green." Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready." The Officer said, "Go ahead." Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'" Mujibar now lives in a neighbourhood near you, and works at Telstra on the Help Desk."
carefultalking.mpeg - Oldie but a goodie - that'll learn him for using his headset when walking around in public like a poof.
whydidthechickencrosstheroad.pps - Almost got through...
playboy50aniversaryCAREFUL.pps - OH NOICE!!! (Careful when opening!)

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17/08/2005
---------- Damn, not much in the mailbox today - been really slow (everything i got is 'ok-ish' stuff that i've already seen and sent out before). Good news is that Dan Warne from the Australian Personal Computer magazine will publish an article on my totally awesome work desk! How good is that?! Make sure you reserve your copy of the November issue of APC - 'cause with me in it, it'll sell out fast!
chinesefood.wmv - Anyway, since no one's sending me anything new/good - i dug this one out of the archives. It's a classic.

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16/08/2005
http://www.theengineer.co.uk/Articles/291747/Urine+power.htm - Not only can you write your name with it...
http://americaninlebanon.blogspot.com/2005/07/backstroke-of-west.html - Engrish version of Revenge of the Sith.
hoffandkim.jpg - Hmm... I think the hoff emails are starting to pick up momentum again...
http://www2.abc.net.au/fly/flysui/flysui.html - Fly lice! oldie, but a goodie.

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15/08/2005
http://ubergeek.tv/article.php?pid=54 - How to take over the world with linux
larahoft.jpg - Very sexy...
adidas.wmv - Pretty cool ad for the Women's FIFA World Cup
http://www.theaiu.com/ - A protest site, but still kinda funny.
http://www.ntk.net/ballmer/mirrors.html - Oldie, but a goodie - a classic web page with all those Steve Ballmer "Developers developers" video clips
freegrill.jpg - Apparently this is supposed to be the Aussie version of the George Foreman grill. It didn't make me laugh, but it might make you laugh. Idiot.
http://www.sterilecowboys.org/archive3/BUNNY.html - I think I'm gonna have nightmares. Just as well there wasn't a gust of wind otherwise she would have floated away with the umbrella

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12/08/2005
http://www.artlebedev.com/portfolio/optimus/ - This'll go well with my new screen...
http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,14933-1682923,00.html - Read the 5th paragraph down - well done dickhead, that'll learn 'em.
grannyletter.jpg - Another oldie, but a goodie...
mylove.wmv - Bush and Blair. Pretty well done
hotdrink.pps - Had my headphones on too loud and it made me deaf...
wateronmars.jpg - BAAAAAAAAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA!!!
http://www.thetriangles.net/music.html - Buy the Triangles album on Saturday 20th August from Gertrudes (check the gigs page) - 'cause my mate Reggsy's in it and he's a top bloke... You'll hear him in the "Your Heart" song.
pussyhoff.jpg - Crappest hoff pic ever. Still funny :)
minuevonovio.jpg - Oh noice! great look (bit of care required)
http://www.theage.com.au/news/people/the-hoff-strikes-again/2005/08/11/1123353433793.html - Well, when you thought all the hoff-mails had died off a few weeks ago, this happens...
http://www.smh.com.au/news/spike/hassels-strikes-again/2005/08/10/1123353383344.html - And this one too...
isenbeck-ballet.asf - Another oldie, but not bad :)
beatdown.wmv - I remember this one from a while back - guy gets the snot punched out of him from a fat-arsed chick. Funny as and one of the classics - especially because these "Adults" are setting a great example for the kids.
http://franksemails.com/pics/amazingtoilets.html - Some interesting places to do your business

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11/08/2005
----- - Bloody hell, you're on leave for one day, and when you come back, your mailbox is full of shite. I was ill unfortunately - had a really bad case of the hiccups since Wednesday... yeah, laugh it up assholes, it's really funny. Bloody hurt too... yeah, keep laughing.

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10/08/2005
charades.jpg - :)
ghosts.pps - oww scary...
19dei-go.wma - A friend of mine sent me an email letting me know that he has some mates... hold on.. yeah.. ok.. he has mates... anyway, he has mates that wanna kick off their music career, and this is a couple of their songs - anyway, if you're familiar with Melbourne, it makes more sense, fully sik ule!!!
18Still-hsv.wma - and another fully sik track to do chap-laps with on a friday night
ambervsmadison.wmv - This probably has to go down as one of the classics... Where's the pash at the end though? Hmm...

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9/08/2005
sfoparallelapproach.jpg - I wonder if this is just a photoshop job... "Here is a great optical illusion photo taken of a Lufthansa 747-400 and a United 757-200 that were on simultaneous approaches to runways 28L and 28R at San Francisco(SFO). The separation requirement for flying parallel and simultaneous approaches is 225 meters (738 feet). These two aircraft are at a safe distance for the approaches they are each flying. Due to the 747 being three times larger than the 757 and being slightly behind will give us this incredible optical illusion."
http://franksemails.com/mydesktop.html - What, something more awesome than franksemails.com actually exists? No! But this comes close!
hellohp.pps - Should cut it up, drain it out and use it as ink!
fantastic_photography.pps - some interesting photos
conviction2.jpg - New perfume...

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8/08/2005
allyoucaneat.jpg - Munch munch munch! I want to eat my lunch!
crackinaeroplanewindow.jpg - "Travel Warning! This is what airline inspectors recently discovered during a routine maintenance check on a Boeing aircraft. This just goes to show how substandard maintenance practices are being used daily on aircraft that you and your family could be flying on! This is a photograph of an actual crack that was found in a window frame. Look closely at the fifth window from the left. Fortunately it was discovered before the aircraft went back into service where it could have led to a disaster."
spot-check1.pps - bit silly...
malaccast.jpg - I know a few people who should live here...
http://www.milbestlight.com/SWF/GAME/GAME1.SWF - This is awesome!!!!!

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5/08/2005
newmouse.wmv - Awww, very cute :)
dogonbike.wmv - I wonder how long it'll be 'til the training wheels come off...
toothyank.wmv - You see, this is what's wrong with the world today - idiots like this having their teeth yanked out just for the hell of it. This is just gross and stupid.

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4/08/2005
its-a-gimme.jpg - No way is that a gimmie - take the shot i reckon!
http://www.izpitera.ru/lj/tetka.swf - This is too good! You can drag her around or even squeeze her through the spheres when she gets stuck.
http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,16144393%255E661,00.html - Good mass-media (and front page) exposure against these accident-causing devices...
http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,16144397%5E661,00.html - and here as well.
football.pps - Probably what i'd only be interested in if i was at the football (care required)
iqaeda.jpg - Apple's new creation for the modern terrorist...
antiterroristbackpack.jpg - If you think you're likely be shot on the tube, get one of these...

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3/08/2005
dolphinstresstest.pps - Powerpoint slideshow which uses dolphins to test if you're stressed out or not. Pretty good.
launch.pps - Cool space launch
davidcopperfield.pps - owww a mind reading powerpoint slideshow with a picture of David Copperfield. Scary!
crazyhoff.jpg - ding ding!
bigcat.wmv - oldie this one - that'll learn him...

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2/08/2005
http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/ - I'm a developer and I can't pick em... I only got 4/10
checkoutthebunsonthat.jpg - Check out the buns on that! BAAAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA!!!!

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1/08/2005
WineOpener.wmv - Got this one a little while back (and received it again today). Never really understood what it had to do with a poker web site, but then again, I'm not a very bright boy.
http://snipurl.com/gl1r - Guestbook for Sholing Girls IT Homework Club
cagerage.wmv - Yeah NIIICE!!! Just listen to that leg snap in half!!!
St.Marteen1.pps - An oldie this one - planes landing at St Maarten airport are really close to the beach.
russianinterview.wmv - uh...

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29/07/2005

reporting_weed.wmv - mildly amusing...
http://www2.b3ta.com/man-milk-or-moo-milk/ - hmmm....
http://www.dropdeadugly.com/ - You guessed it - a website full of ugly people. Not just ugly, but impressively ugly. Trust my friend Katty to find something as freaky as this...
http://franksemails.com/cooltshirts.html - I like the chatroom t-shirt :)
beer.xls - Effects of drinking...
http://franksemails.com/bb05.html - Housemates of BB05
musclehoff.jpg - Maybe i should learn how to use photoshop...
SwedenDenmarkBridge.jpg - Pretty cool - "The bridge (or should it be called tunnel) goes under water to allow movement of ships. In order for ships to pass, this bridge is half under the water. You drive down in the water and then come out on the other side. Truly a marvelous piece of engineering! This bridge is between Sweden and Denmark Picture taken from the Swedish side."
hospital.jpg - In an emergency, head to the...

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28/07/2005

clubsign.jpg - Where you'd find all the nice girls...
UndergroundServiceInformation.jpg - Careful, you might get shot...
cameltoe.wmv - I think i remember seeing this a while ago - if so - oldie, but a goodie :)
bellringer.wmv - What was said in the email: "Imagine this... You just came to TexasTechUniversity as a freshman... You are SO PROUD that you have been chosen to pump up the crowd as the school's "BELL RINGER" during the big game... Your whole family, all of your friends, and 15 million ESPN viewers see you on Saturday's telecast ringing the team's bell... But due to the tragically unfortunate placement of the bell, ... Your whole family, all of your friends, and 15 million ESPN viewers, see you doing something that DOES NOT appear to be ringing the team's bell AT ALL..."
FoxHat.wmv - pisser...
QualityTime.jpg - Great idea...
therealbatman.pps - Careful with this one! Contains EXTREME nudity!!!
LondonBomerConspiracy.jpg - Where's Gary Coleman?

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27/07/2005

http://franksemails.com/hoffsection1.html - Finally finished the hoff section - click here or on my picture above to check it out.
has_hoff_gone_mad.jpg - Hoff doing an MJ...
http://radar.smh.com.au/archives/2005/07/dave_watch.html - There's a good link to hoff stuff in this article.
golfpartner.jpg - Noice!
----------Well I finally wrote a crappy publisher thing to publish stuff to the website, so everything should now be accessible from here. Why am I not using blog software or something like that instead? I don't even know what 'blog' means, nor do I want to. I'm not into fancy stuff either.

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22/7/05
Uh... maybe this weekend? god i'm lazy...


13/7/05
Note that i'm still in the middle setting up this site so that it's easy for me to publish stuff to it. Hopefully i'll have time to get to it this weekend. So, for now, people who receive emails from me will have access to the stuff hosted here.


Dropitlikeit_sHoff.jpg
oopsicrappedmypants.wmv
AEROBICS-WITH-ORCA.wmv - disgraceful
Me in yet another productive meeting...